What consent means
Consent is a clear, enthusiastic, freely given "yes" to a specific activity, from someone able to give it.
- Freely given. No pressure, guilt, threats, or manipulation.
- Specific. Yes to one thing is not yes to everything.
- Ongoing. Anyone can change their mind at any point, including midway.
- Informed. It depends on honesty about protection, health, and expectations.
- Capable. Someone who is asleep, unconscious, or heavily affected by alcohol or drugs cannot consent.
- Never assumed. Past encounters, flirting, a drink, or going home with someone are not consent.
Silence, hesitation, or going quiet is not a yes.
How to talk about it
It can feel awkward, but a short conversation beats guessing:
- "What are you into, and what's off the table?"
- "Are you comfortable with this?"
- "Do you want to keep going or take a break?"
- "I'd like to use protection. Is that okay?"
Check in during, not just before.
Setting your own boundaries
Decide what you want beforehand, and say it early.
- Expectations: one night, ongoing, exclusive or not.
- Physical limits: acts, protection, safe words.
- Privacy: photos, videos, names, and whether you want to be discreet.
- Communication: how often you'll message, and how to end things.
You don't have to justify a boundary. "No" is a complete sentence.
If someone says no
Accept it, thank them for being honest, and move on. Don't argue, bargain, sulk, or push again later. As our community rules say: if someone tells you "no," it's time to move on.
Never acceptable on Casual Encounters
- Pressuring or coercing anyone
- Sharing intimate images or conversations without permission, or threatening to
- Sending unwanted explicit messages or photos
- Secretly recording someone, or removing protection without agreement
- Harassing someone after they decline or block you
- Contacting anyone under 18, or any content involving minors
- Lying about who you are, your age, or your health status to get consent
These break our community rules and can be crimes. See Reporting & Moderation for how we respond.
Be discreet. Respect people's privacy. If you see another member in public, only approach them if they've previously given you their explicit consent.
If something happened that you didn't consent to
It isn't your fault. You can:
- Get to a safe place and contact someone you trust.
- Seek medical care. It's available even if you don't want to report to the police.
- Contact RAINN, free and confidential, 24/7, at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) or rainn.org.
- Report the member so we can act.
In immediate danger? Call 911.
Last reviewed: October 2026
